Give Up

It's true. I do give up so easily on men. Like with someone in SG or another one in PP. He wanted to introduce me to his girlfriend who was visiting mn gud. On Holy Week. And I saw the one in PP with a Khmer girl. Met them at the back of Lucky Supermarket before I went home the 1st time. Hahay gudluck!

"A faint heart never won a fair lady" is as much applicable to girls daw these days per Nev. I just love his words of wisdom, thank u! :)

Powerful Poem

Here's what I got on the internet about Khalil Gibran's poem on Love :)

Kahlil Gibran on Love

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

http://www.katsandogz.com/onlove.html

Moving On

"Stop being sad, Signora" --from the movie "Under the Tuscan Sun" starring Diane Lane. True, because it is a wonderful world out there. "As soon as my heart stops breaking Anticipating As soon as forever is through I'll be over you"

Realize

I went to the dentist today to have my wisdom tooth extracted. I had wanted it removed coz it's impacted. Mahirap, di kasi ordinaryong bunutan. The dentist kept trying till ako na lng ang nag-giveup. I dun wanna go thru the whole thing. Naisip ko si Ate Jing kasi nagpabunot din sya ipin before at di rin nya tinuloy dahil nga masakit daw. Matatanggal din yun in time.

I realized something very important today. And it is that I have been isolating myself for a very long time, I have avoided relationships. Simple lng naman ang life e, I cannot go thru it alone!

Fear and Love

I once read it written that our two strongest emotions are fear and love. Once I told a friend that "we all live because of love", and it's true. I remember my conversations w/ our secretary, si Tata Cabalhin. Told her how amazing the power and might of God is. I just gave the example of faces; that at first, you think all people look the same, like the Chinese in Singapore, but if you really look closely, you'll find that each one of them (and each one of us) looks different. She eventually said, "Adto man jud sa love paingon ning istoryaha ba?" Haha, true. Coz to be honest, I fell in love in Singapore man jud to Christian Bustamante who was already with someone. Gibisita gud siya lagi sa SG sa iyang wife ron nga si Mischelle Ulanday. That was the only Easter time lagi nga I went to mass twice. But I cried so hard because he wanted to introduce me unta lagi to her. I avoided meeting her. They got married on March or April 18, 2008. I was in Cambodia then. Wedding day pud ni ni Sopheap Hour, our volunteer coordinator. She is now in Canada and Christian and Mischelle now have 3 kids together: si Jandi, Jacob and Joshua. Kahibaw man gud ko lagi Lord that somehow he wanted to spend time with me b. Ang iya gud ingon ato was nakikita kong nahihirapan k, but di k sumusuko. Nag-abot man gud mis Bus 96 when I was on my way to NUS after I was offered the downgrade. Nanghipos n gud ko ato lagi aron mouli kay diha n man koy ticket to go home. Like I said, I must have looked so happy then. Mao tong when I took my time in going home from NUS, I was surprised to see him in my block lagi. He went to the Fair Price man in our neighborhood. He said then that masakit daw masyado sa ulo if nasa malayo ang girlfriend mo. What does that mean, uyabon ko nimo? Kahibaw man gud ko lagi of what he went through Lord when his ex-girlfriend Janice Isabelle Lao studied in Oxford before. Pirmi daw tawn niya tawagan lagi. Kulba-kulbaan gud lagi kuno siya every time he receives his bill from Globe. Anyway, I msgd him on LinkedIn today. Told him of my updates. The last time he said man lagi that he feels uncomfortable with my giving him updates. Maong I tried not to msg him anymore. Today I broke that resolve. We are friends man jud klaro from our student times in NUS, back in 2005 to 2006. Sila gud akong support system; sila Leeyaj, Sheryl ug Christian plus my Indian circle and other NUS classmates. Why not keep that bridge di b? Si Nicolas n lng ang bridge nga nadisconnect ron. Di siguro siya gusto nga mobisita ra kos Cambodia. Basin gusto siya nga mobalik ko ug work didto? Wala p may offer po, Teacher Mr. Nick. Alangan mamugos ta di b? God bless you Tatskie, Nicky, Christian and your families and loved ones. God bless us all always. I'll see you when I see you n lng pohon!

Love...

Love is a gift, and I never really learned that. I'm so used to going after things, particularly excellence in school, I never realized that love is not something that you chase after, it's something that's given to you. You don't have to work for it, you don't earn it, it is freely given. And of course, life is not all about school and vice versa. Did I have to become thirty to realize these things? O life! 6/22/22 Mam Shirley Sisante, my former coordinator at Western International School in Phnom Penh, Cambodia once told me that love should not be an obligation but an outpouring. Kaya bang punuin ng isang balde gud ang lahat ng tubig sa dagat? I do miss you Mam She. All the best in the US always and aloha!