New Year 2011

I had quite a good year in 2010. I'm just looking forward to a fruitful 2011. Happy New Year to us all!!!

Men!

I heard it somewhere that if magkabuang na ka'g pili among guys, hapit na ka magminyo. Coz last Christmas night, nanawag daw si Charles. I left my fone as usual so we weren't able to talk. Then pagka-26 nitext sad si Sopheap, my former English student, asking if I have a husband. I said I'm looking for one. Hahah!

Then napa jud, kinsa gani to?? Basta I just keep the faith. Maayos din ang lahat ng ito. Manalig ka lang, Doki.

Tired

I'm tired of chasing after him. Coz true, I left him in PP in 2008 and just kept in touch with him when I was in Philippines. I invited him to Philippines but la mn syay klaro.

He was in Siem Reap when I came back to PP in 2009. I saw him 2x there --when he ran in the AWHM and in one of the games of the Globalteer football tournament. Then he came back to PP, he went back to teaching English at our school.

We had a falling out because of something silly. Because of this, I ignored him when he came back to our campus last June. He only lasted two weeks, he left. He is teaching again in Plaza since September. I told him goodbye when I left PP last October. But I couldn't help myself, I still email him!

Actually he told me that he's getting close to this Khmer girl from his other school. It's okay, I wished them all the best alrdy. He never really said he liked me.

Last night I told him that he'll always be a special part of my PP memory. Told him I'll see him when I see him in future. I just dunno when. Could be May next year, could be not...

Everything's gonna be okay. I keep the faith!

How??

I think of how I could survive the holidays here this time. I am missing Phnom Penh so much!! I miss the kids, I miss my Phnom Penh group and I just miss everything there!

Just now my colleague Jacy asked me if given the chance, I'd go back to Phnom Penh. I said of course, you don't know what you're telling me...

But PP didn't give me a good job. I wasn't really needed there, I just happen to be one of those teachers they needed who came along. I guess given time, I could put my feelings into perspective. Just be patient, Doki!!

Give Up

It's true. I do give up so easily on men. Like with someone in SG or another one in PP. He wanted to introduce me to his girlfriend who was visiting mn gud. On Holy Week. And I saw the one in PP with a Khmer girl. Met them at the back of Lucky Supermarket before I went home the 1st time. Hahay gudluck!

"A faint heart never won a fair lady" is as much applicable to girls daw these days per Nev. I just love his words of wisdom, thank u! :)

It's Gonna Be Okay

Things are gonna be okay. I know that. If he's dating a new girl, it means we were not meant to be right from the start. He's not a bad person, he was just not the right person for me.

God bless us all!!

Run

This time of the year there's a big event in Siem Reap --the Angkor Wat Half Marathon. I went there with Yuka last year, we waited for Nick to finish his 21K. Took him a little over 1hr 20mins.

I will miss it this year. But I'm gonna run tomorrow at the Red Cross marathon in the Terraces. 5K lng sa kay 1st time pa man and ang 3K is for kids man daw.

Good luck to me! Naglakaw2 na ko diri city for 1hr or so. Just now Dexter said magstretch daw first.

Okay, till tomorrow then. If I don't like running, I can always go play badminton! :)

New Nephew

My sister gave birth to a bouncing baby boy yday. My second and newest nephew. Wow, nana koy kadungan magbday nga kapamilya. Grabe!

Crush

Maybe he was just my crush. I met him in Phnom Penh in June 2008. I went to look at his apartment in TTP. I didn't get the apartment coz it was beyond what I could afford. I didn't have a job that time. I thought I'd never see him again. Then I saw him 2wks later in school. Wahh, PP is such a small city!! I must admit I ran away from him due to my bad experience in SG. Because of that we never really dated. We just kept in touch thru email/Facebook. Then when I said I'm planning to return to PP, he said he was planning to leave. He was alrdy in Siem Reap when I returned in Oct '09, he worked for an NGO. I saw him twice in Siem Reap --first during the AWHM and 2nd at their football tournament. I dragged my Japanese friend who was visiting to the AWHM and didto mn sa KH one of our alumni so I went to their tournament na rin. It was very promising; they're now on their 2nd season as we speak. He came back to PP in April '10. He invited me to lunch. Then I invited him to Singapore Kitchen. He canceled at the last minute. After a month, he came back to our campus. I ignored him till he left after about 2wks. I told him I was hurt with what he did, canceling on the SG Kitchen thing. He said, "Don't dwell on these things, life is too short". I said, "Okay, I'll move on then. Thanks, enjoy your life!" Actually I counted off all the times mn gd when he said no and that was the final straw. I went home in October coz my aunt got sick. Now I'm here in Cebu working.I had booked a ticket to PP in May. I told him that I definitely don't want to see him in Plaza anymore so if he cannot spare the time to meet up with me, never mind. I'll visit my old campus n lng pohon. In Siem Reap during the football tournament, he told me that I should go get married soon. I said no, I'm not getting married. Recently, I told him why I said that. He said, 'Do you want to get married? Not everyone does, right?' Maybe he doesn't want to marry me coz he's dating a Khmer girl man daw. Whatever! I wish them all the best. I know I'll meet someone new. I keep the faith!!

Vindication

Hehe, kabawos na ko. On Facebook he said that the girl cancelled on their dinner date. Nagluto pa naman daw sya. Kabawos na ko! He cancelled on me at the last hour din with the Singapore Kitchen thing last May.

Definitely time to move on. Matter of time. Good luck to us all!

Letting Go and Moving On

Today I have decided to forget him and move on. It just cannot work out; we're in 2 different cities leading 2 separate lives. I'd always have the memories. I keep the faith!!

Thoughts

I suddenly feel down. It's because I have a new schedule this time --I hope it's final, no more changes in the pipeline. Instead of 830-930 now I have 1130-1230. I'm not particularly happy with it but I do hope we'll have a good semester together.

I'm suddenly finding things so boring. I can only keep the faith. Good luck, Heide!! :)

CDU

I'm now with CDU. Got accepted last Wed, 3 Nov and was told to start right away. Wow, 2nd chance! I only pray for the best...

5 Years Now

It has been 5yrs since nagpaag2 ko in life. Here's the breakdown:

2005 April I didn't work at USC coz magprepare lagi daw for NUS

August I went to Singapore to study PhD in Economics at NUS. Hay kataas sa standards! It was a disaster right from the start. Ako brother tawn napurdoy and I ended up withdrawing from the program...

2006 June I went home from Singapore. I was unemployed till November. I stayed on at USC till the end of my return service.

2007 November Start of my leave without pay from USC. I decided to go back to NUS man

2008 Jan I came back to NUS but di n mn nako makaya tiwason ang program so I went to Cambodia. I stayed there till November. I worked at an English school teaching Koreans here in Cebu from 8 Dec to 9 Jan. '09

2009 January I came to Legazpi to work at Fr. Jovic's NGO. I only lasted 4 months. I went home in May and facilitated my clearance with USC. I left for PP again in Oct.
I came back to my school in Cambodia. I stayed there till Oct. 2010

2010 October I went home to Philippines. Nasakit man si Mommy Sering and nagplano n mn sd molarga si Bantil. Ako n lng pud uban sa mga old. Find n lng pud ko work diri duol. Good luck to me! :)

I'm Still in a Bind

Hay, Heide. You can never escape your past, it would always be there to haunt you. At least I saw Giselle Lamban today, I'm happy. While there's life, there's hope!!

Mam Delia said big time na daw kos USC. If she only knew....

I remember my Econ 48 Econ Dev class after I came back from NUS. I was trying to explain the Harrod-Domar model. And Rogie de la Cuesta gave the better explanation. Hahay, math econ is not my domain... Still, I pray for the best!

Another Death

I learned that my hiskul klasm8, Janjan Durango passed away last August. Wow, two of my friends died in July and August. Nagkatiguwang n jd diay ko...

Happy Sunday!!

Back in Bohol

I'm now in Bohol. Ako n kuno pud uban sa amo mga tiguwang diri. Everything is strange, I miss PP more! But I know that I have to be here. If ever magminyo ko pohon, di na sila magmahay nako kay nakapuyo na mn ko with them, nakaserbisyo n mn. Good luck to me!!

Ako na Lang

I have decided to be the one to stay with my mother pohon. Molarga mn kuno si Bantil for UK pohon and maglisud n mn mi pangita ug mouban nila. Bisan adto n lng ko teach sa Mater Dei then teach pud sa USC kung madala during weekends. I just told Bantil unya n ko uli pohon kung klaro na iya paglarga. God bless to all our plans!

Last night we were at Marge's place (House A) for Christine's bday celebration. We talked na of our CLP in October pohon right after 10-10-10. Join lng ko but magready n lng pud ko for when I have to go home for good. Everything's gonna be ok. I keep the faith!

Powerful Poem

Here's what I got on the internet about Khalil Gibran's poem on Love :)

Kahlil Gibran on Love

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

http://www.katsandogz.com/onlove.html

September

We had a meeting in skul today for the incoming skul yr in Sept. I'll be teaching 20hrs lng per week, Social Studies Grade 4 and 5. Well, I talked to the Vice Principal this afternoon. It's not so bad naman. I'll just have to think of my own welfare, that is, if I don't get a good pay here, I'll definitely think of going to Singapore. I dun wanna go home yet so I want to try my luck again in SG. God bless my plans!

Vacation

Just finished our kindergarten graduation so officially on vacation till 1st September. I'll be teaching Social Studies and Health daw in the next skul year. It's a new start, I think I like it!

I got an award for Best Teacher. Haha. The last time I got an award was college graduation, I think. Coz in my graduation at ISS, I only got a certificate. In one Faculty Assembly at USC, I got recognition for my studies at ISS. But not really a Best Teacher award. So okay, I'm happy with it.

Good luck, Doki!

Lucy Gakii Kirimi (+)

I learned today that my good friend from Kenya, Lucy Gakii Kirimi passed away last July 30. I even made sure that it was really correct, I saw her death and funeral notice.

I'm gonna miss her. We've been fairly in touch since our ISS days.

Rest in peace, Lucy. See you in the next life!

School

I have been in school for the rest of my life! Just today I saw our pictures in the yearbook. I'm so amused! I didn't stay long enough to be included in the yearbook last time. Now I have my pic in there with my K3G class, cute!

Gipit

This time I'm gipit coz I paid up Marije for the amount I borrowed from her last year for the TESOL course. Naikog man gud ko when she said la pa syay work.

I paid her up and then I also need to buy an electric fan plus possibly new sandals for school since kaput na man ako power sandals. Hehe..Basin 20 n lng ako mapadala ani sa Pinas for my Citibank. Next payday n lng pohon ang para sa ako Philam. Life talaga...

Graduation in School

Start na mi practice today for our graduation on 21 August. Kanta mi "Waving Flag" as our graduation song.

Human na 1 school year. La ra hibaw-i. Seems like yesterday when I came back to our old school. I keep the faith.

Let me look back on how this school year went:

Term I (Sept to Nov -I came back in October):

I went to Kampong Som with Ate Ica during Water Festival holiday. We got on the banana boat.

I celebrated my bday quietly. Lunch ra mi ni Ate Ica at KFC in Pencil.

I went with Yuka to Siem Reap for the AWHM. Lipong2 ko ato na trip which took 24hrs in all! But I'm really glad Yuka came to visit me!

Term II (Dec to Feb)

Christmas!! Twas my 3rd Christmas in a foreign country! I survived it coz busy mn pud mi prepare for our charity event. Ex Dono was 6 Feb Sat with our special guest, Makisig Morales. We had holiday in skul for Chinese New Year. I went to Saigon then, exit. Incidentally, the 2nd day of the Chinese New Year (Feb 14) was also Valentine's Day. Ate Ica and I got a rose from Cafe Yejj in TTP.

By end Feb I knew that I was gonna stay on in skul till August. I'd say I fought to stay at my job that week.

Term III (Mar to May)

Went to Siem Reap again. Merky with Vance were in town. Went to watch Globalteer's football games also.
Went to Kampot/Kep with Ate Ica for Khmer New Year outing.
Lost the elephant necklace that my student Nata gave me in VIP Club when we went swimming with K- Arn and Sally and Ate Malyn. Tsk tsk..

Term 4 (June to Aug)
Nagresign ang mga puti in our school --Teacher Luke and Teacher Jeanette left.
Teacher Nick came back pero he only lasted 2weeks.
World Cup time! I went to Siem Reap again on 18-20 June. Paiba lng!
Then assessment tests na for Term 4. Time to determine the honour students!
Then practice for graduation.

And that's it, that's my school year in brief. My K2G and K3G classes changed classrooms due to the Nursery classes. I thought I would be shaken by the change but I survived it!

I might go to grades 1/2/3 in the next school year. I said I would like to give it a try. I hope I'd be given the chance. If not, stay where I am!

Trip Home Pohon

Wow, I'm excited!! Uli ko October 7-11 pohon (Pchum Benh) for my father's 9th death anniv. End of October ta to but gahol man sa oras. Hopefully magkatapok mi ana pohon. I pray for the best!

"Miles Away"

I watched "The Proposal" again last night on Star Movies. I couldn't help but be reminded of someone I met in Singapore. He saw me go through everything in SG! And he even wanted me to re-establish my relationship with God. But I left Singapore in 2006. And while I've been in touch with this friend, he's now out of my reach. So I can only sing this song for him:

Miles away
You're so many miles away
Living my lonely life
To live another day
Without you
Miles away
You're so many miles away
From me
And I can't find you
All those miles away

The Dutch Lost

Yes, the Dutch lost in the World Cup Final to Spain.

I had a miserable week last week. I thought it started with a promising news but then napurnada pagka-Saturday. O well, di pud ko gusto adto Choamchao oi, probinsya na man to!

Keep your cool, Doki. Do your best!

STAR Movies

For two straight nights now, I have watched real nice movies on this channel. Karon pa lang worth every cent na ako gibayad sa cable.

Thu, 8/7/10 evening was "Confessions of a Shopaholic" and last night was "The Proposal". I just love those movies!! Actually I couldn't remember anymore the last time I watched a movie, English one that I really loved. I only remember that I left my "Lake House" VCD ila Ivy in SG. Good luck to me! :)

World Cup

I first had an interest in footabll in 1998, when France hosted and won the World Cup. I had asked Harry then why the Netherlands was Pay-Bas in French.

In the 2002 World Cup in Korea/Japan, I had a student nga nalate ug sud klase coz nitan-aw pa World Cup didto.

In 2006, I asked a postcard from Jamie. Germany mn ang host sa World Cup. Italy diay to nakadaug.

This time, the Dutch have a very big chance of winning it! Gipildi gud nila ang powerhouse Brazil team. Pakulba kaau ang semifinals with Uruguay, abi nako moapas na to. And tomorrow night, they'll face Spain. Basin maglisud sila coz robo kaau moduwa ang mga Espanol. Pero I'm always hopeful. Go Oranje!...

Place

I thought that if I'd go to a foreign place or a place where nobody knows me, I could just be lost in all of it and forget things. I was mistaken. Coz the place may be different but I would still be meeting people. Di ko rin maiwasan to share myself. Good luck, Doki!

Siem Reap 3

I am in Siem Reap for the 3rd time. I sent my CV to 2 univs this am. Tan-awon lng nato unsay gawas ato. God bless my plans!!

I Quit

Today is my last day at Camtech. Actually niadto ra ko aron magkuha sa ako allowance. Giundangan n nko oi. Gabii na kaau ko mouli kada gabii nya at the end of the month, transpo allowance ra diay ako makuha? $50 pa jud. Nya di gud na sayon ila ipabuhat, ipadali pa. Ngita n lng jud ko lain. God bless my plans!! :)

Decision Time

I like it here in Cambodia, Lord. But the jobs I found are not that good, I mean, I am not secured in my work and I am not teaching fulltime. I found an opportunity with a language school but gamay ra pud allowance. Right now I'm asking for a higher allowance coz lugi ko if gamay ra ila ihatag no?

I pray for the best. If wala jud nindut moabot, uli sa Pinas by Sept. pohon. God bless my plans!

Last Term

On the start of our last term in school, 3 English teachers decided to leave. What??

Actually, nice n bya ako nakit-an n work didtos kindergarten skul. But I want a better job Lord. Sana makahanap ako ng bago by September pohon....

I'm doing well mn sad sa English skul. So far, I'm developing an English program based on the New Headway books. Mahirap sa umpisa but makaya ra man diay. Good luck to me!

I just trust God. Di nya ko pababayaan. Happy weekend!

Volunteer

I only asked to volunteer at Camtech. Wow, they offered me a part-time post. Assistant to the Mgmt pa ang job description and I will sort of intern for 3mos. wherein they'll only provide me with transportation allowance. After 3months, they'll review daw my performance and I might be offered a full-time post. I pray for the best, bigay to lahat ng Diyos e. Happy weekend, everyone! :)

Men!@#%

I'm getting very nice insights on men this time from Reymar. Lingaw kaau! Di pa daw ko ana, ang haba ng hair ko! God bless you, Reymar! Always.

YM

Cge na mi YM ni Johnroy these days. La daw sya load for summer so he'll work on his thesis. Told him I could lend a hand if he wants me to...

I have talked to him abt a lot of things na. He knew abt my sentiments w/ PH n mn. Good luck to us n lng, c u nya pohon... :)

Yuka

She was the first to visit me here in PP since I came back. Last end Oct 09 ta to but namatay mn iya lolo so it was rescheduled to 1st wk of Dec. Grabe to na trip oi, hectic kaau. We went to Siem Reap and back in 24hrs! Then she made time to visit me in kindergarten skul and took pictures with me and the kids :) She said 'you're obviously much happier here than in SG'...Such a good friend!

Now she's back in Japan and working in a similar post as her work in SG daw. She just went to Laos but she said she's pretty sure she'll be in Cambodia in a few months. Thanks, Yuka; see u here soon. God bless!!

Full Circle

I had asked Madon this week for advice on my life. She gave me really good advice. "Magsumikap ka ng husto para mabayaran mo ang brother mo"...Kahit matanda na daw ako, I could save my pride and integrity daw if I could do it.

That's what I would do. Good luck to me!

Siem Reap 2

I am in Siem Reap again this weekend. My former student, Merky is in town with her friend Vance; this is their 1st stop in Cambodia. Travel n lng pud mi dungan to PP pohon. Then they would exit to Saigon and return to Manila pohon. Grabe nilang wara2 oi; SG pa gud cla 1st then KL then Phuket then Bangkok then Cambodia na...5 countries in 2wks!

I remember the time with Yuka here last December. It was a very hectic schedule: I picked her up from the airport at 7am then we travelled to Siem Reap at 10am. Sa amo kakapoy, 645pm p lng tulog na mi!!

I wish Yuka is okay. She was concerned she may not find a job in Japan. Kaya yan, Yuka, ajah! :)

Ate Jing

Ate Ica is really a very nice sister to have. Kakabalik lng nya from a holiday in Phils. She brought all my books in SG. Kabaguod tawn sya bitbit but diri ra sya nireklamo when nagkita na mi.

She also bought me blouses in Gaisano Mactan coz she took note of Mdm Shirley's comment that probinsyana daw ko manamit. Then she bought me a handbag also, and a T-shirt from Singapore. I pray to God to bless her more. As K-Mart said, she is admired for her simplicity and her sincerity. Mag-37 na si Ate Ica ig March 30 pohon. Kadali.

Mauwaw ko niya if magminyo ko ahead. We'll see.

Have a nice week everyone!! :)

"Shinee"

I went to watch the Korean boyband "Shinee" in concert last Tuesday night at the Olympic Indoor Arena. This was largely sponsored by Cellcard. Teacher Zaii and I went to watch it. Lingaw kaau coz we didn't have tickets to go. A lady sold us her ticket when we were coming out of Citymall. At the entrance, I saw Piseth also (former TA in CWF) and he helped us get tickets to the concert.

The group only performed only 5 or 6 songs. The concert ended shortly after 8pm. I thought, kasayo ba ani mahuman nga concert oi! Sagdi n lng coz we would have paid more than $5 if they sang more.

Enjoy summer!!!

Hang On

I have decided to hang on to my current job. May n lng ni kaysa wala. I'll just look for a better one at the end of the school year. Good luck to me!!

Joyce

I met up with Joyce (Nev's friend and landlady daw) for dinner last Friday night. She asked, "Why do you move so much?" Then she said maybe part of the reason why is because you're not yet settled emotionally. Once you're settled emotionally, you tend to work around it. She's a very nice woman, she gave me a box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates! God bless you, Joyce :)

Happy weekend everyone!

Phase

I remember a scene in "Maging Sino Ka Man" when JB Berenguer (played by Sam Milby) questioned himself if he's still good. And Celine (played by Anne Curtis) replied, "Magaling ka (JB), nahihirapan ka lang ngayon". I think I am also in that phase. I am really having a hard time with my K2F that's why I'm thinking of leaving Cambodia/Western. Pun-an pa that my visa is gonna expire this Saturday...

But I alrdy told the Lord that if di ko madawat sa LUCT basin mouli ko. Di mn ko pwede mag-ambak2 gud. I have to stay in one place sooner or later. Tiguwang na ko oi!

Change

It's true, change takes time. It has not been easy for me to deal with the change. True, I left my post at USC but I didn't do it just out of the blue. Since 2003 pa gud ko nagtudlo ug puro service courses lang. I even went to NUS then to Cambodia and to Legazpi before I finally decided to do my clearance from USC. But I know that since I want change, then sooner or later I'd get it. I'll just have to be steadfast, I made the decision e.

My Brother

I once told Jonathan that I love my brother coz I only have one brother in the whole world. It's true and I always get emotional about it. Yesterday I was on the YM with him. He would've wanted to call me but as I was in the Teacher's Room and had no headphone, chat n lng mi. He brought up the topic of who will accompany the olds in Tinangnan. Gusto na man gud si Bantil motrabaho kay since 2005 p natambay. I have actually been estranged from him since I did something wrong by him. Ako man gud gigamit iya money in 2003 mao la na sya pangtraining so nisakay n lng sya balik dayon. Nabad record siya bale kay dugay siya nga AB or Able-bodied seaman. Nangambisyon jud siya nga magseaman kay nakakita mn xas among kalisud especially when nagdungan ming tulo nila Ate Ica ug Bantil sa college. In spite of that, he supported me when I was having a hard time in SG in 2006. Bawos n cguro pud to niya kay I gave him allowance man when he was studying at University of Cebu Mambaling or Maritime Education Training Center (METC). Retired n mn si Papa ato so tuition n lng ni Dodong ang ilang bayaran. Then I helped him type also sa iyang reaction paper nga nagkadipo2 jud xa ato. And most of all, I bought him a pair of sneakers (Adidas mn cguro to) when nakasweldo n ko. Kay mao mn jud to iyang gusto. When I was home from Holland too, I gave him my Eastpak backpack and Nokia 3210 that I bought there in Europe. But grabe pud niya yaw2 in exchange for helping me out in SG. Why not, more or less P200,000 na gud niya ako nagasto tanan2! Sya pay nibayad sa akong HSBC credit card bill ug Palm Heights monthly amortization coz I didn't have allowance in SG man that time. Pastilan n lng jud k Doki. Mao jud toy panahon nga nagpabadlong ko Lord. Tungod ra jud sa akong hinanakit about what happened to my eldest sister. I wrote her a letter bitaw when I was in SG and okay n mi after that. I went home from Singapore on June 22, 2006 and few days after I came home, he came here in Cebu to see me. Kita xa nga nagkaniwang lagi tawn ko didtos Singapore. I saw him there gud in September 2005 with his fellow ship crew. Ako silang gihatod sa Port of Singapore where their ship was docked. He got married in August 2007. Since 2005 pa man to sya gusto magminyo. Lisud man gud pud life sa seaman. He called me up before I left for SG again in January 2008. While I was in SG he msgd me too. He said pul-an na sya Magsaysay, hinay ang promotion. Then I went to Cambodia and I only talked to him once, on Mothers' Day. He asked unsa nawong sa PP. I said mora ra gud ug Tagbilaran. When I went home in November, he alrdy left for another contract. Then I went to work in Legazpi. He msgd me on 31 Jan 2009; they were in Germany daw. He emailed that he was coming home in mid-March, I was still in Leg. I went home on 17 May 2009 and he made time to see me also two days later. Hapit sya Cebu from Manila before going home. He msgd on 14 Sept 2009 at 5am that he was in the airport waiting for his flight. La man ko load so la ko reply. I know that he loves me and that he won't hesitate to beat whoever guy that would hurt me. Napunta n mn gud niya ang role to protect us after my father died. When I went home after coming to their ship in Amsterdam in March 2001, nakihitch ko sa supplies truck ato. When I got in the truck, he pointed to the driver, "Uy, you take care of my sister". That's how fierce my brother is. Unsa kaha iyang reaction if magminyo n ko? Maguol pud cguro sija if malayo ko. Milaon mn gud n akong brother kay youngest man sa family. I remember when he had to go for training sa Merchant Marine Academy (MMA) in Cavite. Nahadlok jud siya ato kay pangmilitary mn lagi ang ilang training. Sa iyang kahadlok gud kay gihilantan siya. Hahah. Kay saun, he avoided CAT mn lagi in high school, nagvarsity gud xas volleyball. Pun-an pas comment sa akong papa nga 'di mn cguro pud k patyon ana' When I was in Hawaii in July 2019, I told Aunty Helen that tagboon jud n nimo silas barko kay di mn n sila basta2 makagawas gud. They waited for his call p man. Labina ug Amerika, kutob seaman's club ra jud n sila. One time nidock mn gud ug Honolulu sila Dodong and wa daw xay nakita kay gabii n mn daw to. I think the next day nilarga n pud sila. They stay for a very short while ra lagis port. Di n mn byaheng US akong brother ron, gipul-an n sija. I love my family and I thank the Lord so much for them. May araw din na makabawi ako sa kanila lahat...

Worth

In my restlessness, I woke up at 1am last night and opened my Bible. I was directed to the letters of St Paul, particularly Romans and Galatians. I remember these lines and I quote, "All things are done according to God's purpose and direction..", "If you pretend to be something when you are really nothing, then you are deceiving yourself" "Do not worry about anything" Good luck to me, may I grow more spiritually...

Stability

It's been 2years since I left a very stable job in USC. What has happened to me since then??

I came back to SG in January 2008 but since I knew I couldn't possibly finish my studies, I dropped out and went to Cambodia in February. I didn't want to go home then and go back to USC. It took me 3months before I decided to volunteer here in PP. Then I found a job as a kindergarten teacher. But I came home in November coz I didn't like being discriminated. Why would they do that to me? I found a job in Legazpi early last year but I also didn't survive in it. I am still looking for a post as stable as, if not better than, USC. Good luck to me!!